I'm not sad. I'm just unhappy

Counting down the days when I had to go back to work after this Lebaran holiday. I took 10 days off from work to be home with my kids, because their nannies went to celebrate lebaran in their hometown. Hence, no one to take care of the kids.

As much as I enjoyed working, deep down inside I long to be at home with my kids. I want to be there for them on their golden years. Being home with the kids to see their grow and to be able to shape them the way I imagined my kids would be. 

Alika used to cry whenever I said goodbye to work everyday. Nowadays, she cry no more. She's wiser and has learn to handle her own emotion at a point where it made my heart a little sad.

Recently I've been telling her that I'm going back to work this Tuesday. And she said to me: 
"You know, Bunda. I feel happy whenever you're home."
"You did?"
"Yes. Because I love you very much, you know."
"And when I go to work, do you feel sad?"
"No. I'm not sad. Because I can play with Adel throughout the day, she's my companion."
"But without you, I feel unhappy, Bunda."

I'm sorry I have taken a lil bit of happiness out of you. And you have to learn that things doesn't go the way you want to, at a very young age. One day, I will be all yours and dedicate all my time taking care of you and watch you both grow :) Meanwhile, let's just enjoy what we have now. 

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